Speed Dial
by delusionalDaydreamer
Summary: "Is this... Arty?" "Excuse me?" "I'm sorry for calling you so late, but you were the first number on Wally's speed dial and he's pretty wasted." "Where can I pick him up?" Drunk Wally, Pissed Artemis and Trolling Robin... sounds fun! Spitfire One-Shot


**A/N: So this was the runner up in the voting contest that was going on at the last chapter of Here Kitty Kitty. Enjoy some more Spitfire ;)**

…**..**

Artemis groaned and rolled over. Why was someone calling her at... she glanced at the clock- at two in the morning? She picked up the phone and checked the id, but it was a number she didn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Is this... Arty?"

"Excuse me?" she sat up in bed, feeling completely awake. "I'm sorry for calling you so late, but you were the first number on Wally's speed dial and he's pretty wasted." The boy on the other line sounded no older then herself and as she pressed the phone closer to her ear she could hear the sound of breaking glass and laughter. "Wally is what? I thought he didn't even drink," Artemis said, slowly getting up and turning on the light.

"Well, someone poured like a shiz-load of vodka into the punch at the school ball and Wally was really thirsty. It wasn't until he threw up that someone thought to check the punch."

"And I care because?" Artemis asked, rubbing the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "Well, he begged me not to call his parents and like I said, you were the first person on his speed dial," he explained and she sighed. Another crash came from the phone and someone shouted the speedster's name. "For the love of god Wally, get down from the chandelier."

The archer groaned as she realized what she had to do. "Where can I come pick him up?"

The boy on the other end let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much. He's already emptied out my fridge and after we stopped him from eating the wax fruit he started swinging from the chandelier." Another crash, this time it sounded like something valuable, judging from the wails from the other line. "Please hurry," he said quickly, giving her the address and hanging up as someone shouted Wally's name in despair.

Artemis rolled her eyes, quickly pulling on a pair of jeans and the nearest T-shirt. Bundling her hair up in a scrunchie, she slowly opened the door from her bedroom, sneaking to the front door, grabbing a jacket and leaving.

…...

She arrived at the address given to her after taking a quick detour through the cave, getting her motorcycle. The house she parked in front of had every light lit and at the sounds of shouting she nodded her head. This was definitely the right house.

She stepped up to the door and knocked, softly at first but when no one answered she use her fist to bang on the door. The racket inside quieted down and soon the door opened.

"You're Arty?" he asked with slight disbelieve. Artemis raised her eyebrows and pushed her way inside. "No, I'm _Artemis. _Why is that hard to believe?" Her hands were perched on her hips and the boy rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well, I mean Wally talks the talk but I didn't actually think he knew any hotties."

Artemis blanched but kept her face level, putting as much disdain into her voice as possible. "Trust me, if I had any choice in the matter, I wouldn't be acquainted with Baywatch."

"Baywatch?"

"Never mind, just call him so I can leave."

The guy nodded before walking out of the room slowly, heading towards the noise in the other room. Seconds later a loud shout was heard and then Wally came rushing at an almost inhuman speed out of the other room, grabbing her in a bone crushing crush. The archer froze, taken aback by the un-Wally like gesture. When she finally came to her senses she struggled out of his grip, pushing him back as she finally got loose. He had a big goofy grin on his face and his hair was ruffled.

"You came. Jamie called and you came."

"About that. How the hell did you get my number," she whispered loudly, noticing the crowd in the doorway. "Megan gave it to me," he said, grabbing a strand of her hair that had gotten loose from her ponytail and starting to wrap it around his finger. "Cut that out," she hissed, slapping his hand away. He chuckled and stared at her hair. "What do you call a blonde with two braincells?"

"Excuse me?" The few people in the room snickered and she issued a death glare to each one.

"Pregnant," Wally shouted and then burst into laughter. Artemis rolled her eyes at the horrible joke and grabbed his sleeve, starting to drag him to the door.

"Have fun with your girlfriend," someone shouted from behind them and she slammed the door in their face.

Walking down to where the motorcycle was parked, Artemis kept glancing at Wally, ready to grab him if he stumbled. When the redhead saw the parked cycle he grinned. "I'm driving," he slurred and in a flash he was gone, appearing at the side of the motorcycle. He clambered on and grabbed the handles, searching for the keys. Artemis sighed as she pushed him back on the seat, placing herself in front of him. He slithered his hands around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder.

Artemis gritted her teeth together before starting up the engine. The motorcycle rumbled and she sped off, Wally's grip tightening around her waist.

"Where do you live?" she asked and he lifted his head slightly. "Why?"

"Isn't it obvious Kid Drunk? I'm taking you home."

His eyes widened and he moved his hands to place them on top of hers. "Please don't take me home. If Uncle Barry finds out he won't let me go on missions with you guys for months," Wally pleaded, sounding almost sober. "And that's a bad thing?" She took a sharp turn to the left and Wally almost lost his grip as he fumbled to move his hands back around her waist.

"Please?" His plea was so quiet that she barely heard it but, luckily for him, she did. Sighing, she kept quiet as she took another turn to the left, heading for the zeta-beams to Mount Justice. When she pulled over at the transport spot, Wally was so quiet she could have sworn he was sleeping. Poking him in his ribs, he jumped and practically fell off the vehicle. Artemis tried, and failed, to contain a chuckle, causing him to frown. "Hey, person who woke up at two in the morning to save your sorry ass here. I'm allowed to have a little fun, even if it's on your account."

She guided him to the beam and after he transported, she dragged her motorcycle inside. When she got to the cave, she saw Wally sitting on the floor, legs crossed and head bent. "Are you alr-"

He suddenly pushed himself off the floor and sped down the hall, a door slamming seconds later. Sounds of retching could be heard and she grimaced, almost feeling sorry for him. Almost. Making her way slowly down the hall, she finally stopped by the closed door to the bathroom. Knocking softly on the door, she placed her ear up to the metal. "Wally?"

When there was no reply, she opened the door. If it hadn't been so sad, she would have laughed at the sight of him. He was lying on the bathroom floor next to the toilet, his face a ghostly white except for the circles under his eyes and his hair tousled beyond believe. "I feel like hell," he muttered before gagging and pulling himself back over the toilet bowl. Artemis turned away, never having had a strong stomach when it came to other people throwing up.

When he finally stopped she turned back around to find him in the same position as earlier. Artemis pursed her lips before leaving the room. Wally groaned as he felt another wave of nausea overtake him but was thankful when nothing came. To his surprise, Artemis returned a few minutes later, holding a glass of water and a rolled up towel. Crouching down on the floor next to him, she lifted the redhead up from the floor and forced the water into his mouth. Then she placed the towel on the floor and placed him back down, his head resting on the make-shift pillow.

"Why are you being nice to me?" he mumbled and Artemis smiled slightly. "I may not like you but no one deserves to suffer. Although just leaving you here to die does sound tempting," she said thoughtfully, laughing when she saw the panicked look in his eyes.

"I don't," he finally said after a few minutes of silence. Artemis turned to look at him. "Hmm?"

"I don't... not... like you," he explained slowly, looking like his brain was going to explode from merely thinking. Before she could answer he started coughing loudly and finally he emptied the rest of the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl. She re-filled his glass and handed it to him silently, watching him as he tilted the glass back and emptied it. He placed it shakily on the tiles, his head moving slowly downwards to the towel on the floor.

After struggling for a few moments to keep his eyes open, they finally closed. Artemis looked up to the ceiling, listening to the sound of his heavy breathing. She sighed and let her head fall up against the tiled wall. Opening one eye to glance at him, she moved over when she noticed him resting on his back. Deciding he would be better of on his side lest the nausea made another surprise visit. She crawled over to him on her hands and knees and grabbed his arm. With some effort she managed to pull him over to his side and just as she was about the pull away, his hand shot out and grabbed her arm. She yelped in surprise but Wally remained fast asleep.

His hand rested loosely on her wrist but as she tried to pull away, the grip tightened. He murmured something inaudible and pulled her hand closer in one swift motion. She fell off her knees and fell face first into his chest. Using her one free hand she adjusted herself so that she could enable herself to breathe. Wally's grip had now moved up to her armpit, keeping her stuck right next to him. After a few moments of relentless pulling she finally succumbed.

"Wally? Wally?," she said sternly, shaking him, with no results. He was still fast asleep, his grip only getting tighter if anything.

She sighed and blew a stray lock of hair from her face. Rolling over to the side as much as her current condition allowed her, she stared up at the bright ceiling. Fumbling around with her free hand, she finally found something soft. Grabbing it and lifting it in front of her face she realized it was Wally's sweater. He must have thrown it to the floor when he entered the bathroom. Figuring it would have to do, she bundled it up the best she could and placed it under her head.

Wally would pay for making her sleep on the floor, but for now she'd just have to deal. Besides, after his recent confession she didn't actually have the heart to hit him. Not that she liked him now or anything. He was still as obnoxious and annoying as ever, just, maybe, a little bit less.

She feel asleep pretty quickly despite the glaring lights.

An hour later Wally woke up and winced as he looked straight into the light. Moving his head to the side to shelter his eyes from the assault, he noticed Artemis's face inches away from his. He vaguely remembered her helping him earlier but why had she fallen asleep on the floor with him? He moved his hands to rub his eyes but realized that one of his hands was holding something. His eyes followed the line of his arm slowly until they landed on Artemis's arm, caught in his grip. _So that's why..._

He soon realized that his head was still pounding and Artemis looked too peaceful to wake up so he decided to go back to sleep. Not because he liked having her warm body next to his, or because the sound of her breathing was pretty relaxing; it was just because he didn't want to stand up.

His foggy mind vaguely registered something warm wrapping around his legs before he fell asleep.

…...

"Hello? Megan? Conner? Anyone here?"

Robin and Aqualad walked slowly throughout the base, looking around. It was a good hour over noon but no one seemed to be up. They walked over to Megan's room and as the doors slid open they saw the martian lying on her stomach, her feet propped up and swinging joyfully. She looked up from the show she was watching to acknowledge the two boys and smiled politely. "Hi guys. I think Conner went to take a shower or something. He just left, you might catch him."

"Good, I need to talk to the whole team," Kaldur explained and then gestured for Robin to go find Conner. The younger boy nodded and ran down the hall. He skidded to a halt when he saw Superboy standing in front of an open door, staring inside. "Hey Supes. Whatcha staring at?"

Conner turned his head to look at Robin before returning to stare inside the room. Robin furrowed his eyebrows under his mask before moving to peak inside the room. As soon as he got a look inside, his eyes widened and his hands flew up to cover his mouth. Lying on the bathroom floor were Wally and Artemis tangled together in a mass of legs and blonde hair. He stepped away from the door, bursting into laughter despite his best efforts. Superboy still stood staring inside the door. Soon enough Kaldur and Megan joined them and took a peak inside.

Kaldur's face sported a small, knowing smile but Megan seemed to be bursting with happiness. "Oh I knew it." Kaldur closed the door, stating that the team should let them sleep.

At all the racket going on outside the bathroom, Artemis started waking up. She inhaled deeply and smiled as a wonderful smell invaded her senses. Her eyes opened slowly and she realized that her nose was buried into Wally's chest. And he smelled fantastic. She scrambled away from him until her back hit the door. Working to get her breathing under control, she realized that she had slept through the whole night, tangled up with Wally. And the worst part? She hadn't slept this peacefully in months.

Wally suddenly turned in his sleep, grumbling and looking like he was about to wake up. Jumping to her feet, she opened the door and it slid shut loudly behind her, jolting the redhead from his sleep.

The speedster sat up slowly, wondering why his head felt like it was about to fall off. He racked his brain for a minute before finally getting a foggy memory of himself, drunk of his ass at Jamie's house. How he got home or fell asleep in the bathroom was a mystery. Rubbing his sore head, he grabbed some toothpaste from the counter and squirted onto his tongue. After a minute of rolling it around his mouth, he spit it out, glad that the awful taste in his mouth had dulled a bit.

Stumbling to the door, he opened it and walked towards the TV room, using the wall to support his weight. When he finally got there he fell onto the couch, sighing in relief that the journey was over. He felt the weight drop at the end of the couch and lifted his head slightly to see who it was. Artemis sat at the end, her back rigid and her stare focused on the wall straight in front of her.

"Hey," he murmured, regretting it as soon as he realized what effect speaking had on his head. Letting his head roll back down onto the soft couch, he closed his eyes and decided that a quick nap would be a good idea. He felt the weight shift again as Artemis leaned forward and grabbed what he assumed was the remote. The TV started buzzing as she turned it on and seconds later a piercing shout cut through the silence.

Wally shot up to a sitting position, grabbing his head in pain at the sudden movement. "What the hell Artemis?"

"Look at the screen."

The speedster struggled to open his eyes, but as he did, he regretted it. On the large screen was a full-sized photo of him and Artemis, tangled together on the bathroom floor, fast asleep.

"Robin!" they shouted in unison, hearing his cackling from way down the hall.

**A/N: Lol oh Robin, you troll :D So hoped you enjoyed this and don't forget to leave a review telling me what you thought!**


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